The Perk Puzzle

Hello all ye readers,

As most, maybe all, of you know I got a new job. This is a very good thing and I am excited about it. I was afraid that a steady source of income might take the edge off my thrift, but I am confident that my innate cheapness shall ensure the life of this short column of sorts for at least a few years.

More immediately distressing, however, is the abrupt loss of my free lunches. It is somewhat ironic that the source of my emaciated bank account, Berlitz "billions and billions taught," was also the source of my biggest daily meal on weekdays. Total immersion students are sold all day classes with one period of the day being lunch (12-12:45). Teachers in good standing are often thrown this bone as a perk, and a lovely one it is indeed. Some schools are more generous with their lunches than others, but I must say that despite its unconscionable compensation in this most pricey metropolis (once referred to by the director of another school as Namibian gold miner's wages), the lunches were substantial, and good. Ordered from local restaurants in Rockefeller Center there seemed to be no limit. On some occasions when I knew I'd be teaching through dinner I'd order extra to ensure leftovers (make that salad entree size please). They seemed to rotate between three restaurants: Mangia, Tuscon Square, and a third which does not get mention as I forgot its name (this may be amended at a later date so check back if you have the slightest interest). Highlights include the pork loin with mashed potatoes and broccoli and the creamy pesto cheese tortellini (both from T.S.) as well as the calamari sandwich and the shrimp scampi (Mangia). I think we usually ended up with 30-40 dollars worth of food between teacher and student. The eloquent Doug remarked: "you wanna know what a real perk would be? An extra 200 bucks at the end of the week."

My perk meter was off the handle last Friday though boy. Two Germans who'd signed up for separate total immersion courses decided they'd prefer having class out and about with a teacher. I was asked if I'd like to be their guide. Though shuddering at the thought of having to put up with German witticisms all day I jumped at the opportunity. They paid me double since I was doing the time that would normally be filled by two teachers, and we went to the UN and took a tour. That was followed by lunch at a Sushi restaurant in mid-town and a trip to the natural history museum. In the picture you can see me and one of the two Bernts drinking Kirin Beer and polishing off our Sushi lunch platters.

But its on to (hopefully) greener pastures. Though the perks were nice it just didn't make up for being paid the lowest rates of any school in the city to teach students who were paying the highest. They just didn't compensate for getting your schedule at 7 pm the night before, which you were expected to call and ask for every night. It wasn't worth the extremely low morale, widespread incompetence and corporate inhumanity that pervaded the school. I will miss the students though, they were by and large a truly lovely lot.

New slang word everybody: I was talking to a Russian student (Rumoured to be Lenny Kravitz's girlfriend) about slang terms for money. I noticed that a lot of them were food related such as bread, dough, cheese, and cheddar. Ekatarina informed me that in Russia, the slang word for money is kapusta, or, cabbage. I thought this was simply marvellous and made note of it immediately. It's crisp, green, and necessary for survival, what a perfect metaphor. I want to launch a campaign to incorporate it into the common English vernacular, but I haven't decided if we should call it by the translated name, cabbage, or bring in the original, kapusta, which is really fun to say. Go on, try it, ka-pu-sta!

So it's time to say good-bye to Berlitz and to you, my friends, for now, alas. So lets have it: goodbye, arrivederci, adios, auf wiedersehen, sayonara, vaarwel, au revoir, αντίο, adeus...